When I first started this blog, I wanted to create something that people could go to in order to read about things that are inspiring because I do believe that everyone deserves a bit of inspiration in their life. I also started this blog because it’s a way for me to get my thoughts out there since keeping things in isn’t necessarily healthy for anyone. With that being said, I want to speak about being unhappy. Now this isn’t pre-written or anything, I’ve literally just opened the laptop and started typing. I feel that with a topic like this, there’s no way to plan what you want to say, it’s better to just let the words flow out of your head as it happens.
Happiness is something that everyone strives for, whether they know it or not, but actually achieving that happiness for some can be an extreme struggle. Different things bring happiness to different people so suggesting one thing wouldn’t help everyone; you have to figure out what that thing is yourself and hold on to it. There are people who have been unhappy for so long that they start to believe that they’re actually incapable of feeling happiness. I don’t believe that a person is incapable of happiness; I believe that everyone has something out there that makes them happy. That thing, whatever it may be, may become like a lifeline in a sense because it’s a constant in your life, it’s a surefire way to know that you can be happy.
I come off to people as a happy person because I’m always smiling and laughing but in reality, I know firsthand what it feels like to be unhappy. I have a general idea of the things that make me happy such as music, writing, and creating things but I’m only 20 years old and to be quite honest, I’m still figuring some things out. When you’re trying to be true to the person you’re becoming while also trying to make others happy as well, it all becomes a bit too much and your smile becomes less and less genuine. You’re trying to live up to and exceed expectations and putting stress on yourself. You’re trying but the results aren’t there to see immediately and you feel like you let people down. It gets to a point where you internalize everything and the smile that people see every day is just something you subconsciously do simply because you don’t want people to worry about you.
I personally don’t want to burden anyone in my life with the things that float around in my head because they’re my problems and I feel I should be the one that fixes them. I’ll vent to someone, but only because I’ve learned that holding things in only makes things harder. I won’t accept help and I won’t ask for it, my problems are mine to take control of and that’s what I’m determined to do. However, not asking for help can also make things worse because you’ll start to think that no one actually cares about you because they don’t take notice and do something because you’re sad which in turn makes you even unhappier.
It’s about feeling like you have no control, no power, no say in anything that’s happening in your life and it takes a toll on you, whether that be physical, mental, or emotional. You’ll find yourself staring into space and start crying because it’s too much but you refuse to finish crying because you don’t want to give in to feeling weak. However, the reality of it is that you need to let those tears fall because it will help. It may only last for a few minutes but the relief of letting those tears fall can make a difference. For those few minutes, it feels as though everything around you isn’t falling apart and you’re happy again.
You learn to live with the unhappiness after a while, smile and laugh when needed to or pull a silly face, then when you’re alone you let the thoughts hit you full force and you stay to yourself and don’t bother anyone. You feel like a bother to anyone in your life and all you want is to sit on your own and stay in your bubble.
Now while you may feel that you have everything under control in your own way, you can’t dwell in your unhappiness. I know that feeling like you’re weak, useless, a failure, etc. hurts but you can’t continuously feel like that. If anything, you can learn to use your unhappiness as a bit of motivation. I don’t want to feel like this anymore, therefore I’m going to do everything that I need to in order to not feel this way. Learn how to not let the unhappiness overpower you and take control and things can change in your life for the better.
Remember to take yourself out of the situations, and away from the things that make you unhappy and your journey will be easier. It’s not meant to be super easy because in a sense, you’re depressed, it’s going to be extremely hard and a change won’t happen unless you’re willing to get rid of things in your life and move forward. I actually think that’s the hardest part because you’re so used to having these things in your life and suddenly getting rid of them can hurt. To make it better on you, it’s best to do it gradually, slowly but surely cut these things out of your life and the rest of the journey will be better.
I feel like I rambled on a lot in this, and to be quite honest I could go on forever. However, whatever else I would like to say could be saved for a different time. I hope this helps someone out there, not just me. If you’re unhappy, remember that it can get so much better if you’re willing to make it happen. It’s something I need to constantly remind myself and although, it’s a slow process, it does work. It’s okay to be unhappy, but it isn’t okay to stay stuck in it. Talk to people, write about it, and find something that brings joy into your life and hold on to it. There are people out there that want to see you happy, cherish them. Also, to those people in my life that care, I cherish you.
xoxo Brittany NaShara