August 1993, my presence graced my parents lives (lol) and that was when this all began. Growing up, I think I always knew that my life would turn out differently than to what people expected. I was always into things that my cousins found weird. I preferred to be on my own a lot (but I guess that came with being an only child at first). When I was 5 years old, I was able to read the newspaper very well….I think that’s where all the expectations began. Reading that much when I was so young kind of sparked my love for reading and that hasn’t really faded away, I read whenever I can still.
When I was in pre-school, I took a liking to puzzles. I got that trait from my mom because she’s always putting some kind of 2,000 piece puzzle together. I didn’t really get too much into art and music until middle school by joining art club and learning the violin. I guess I’ve always had a creative mind, who knew?
High school, I got more into writing things. I joined writers cafe and just naturally carried around a notebook to write in. I became more social in high school, joining lots of clubs and taking part in things. It was pretty fun, but I won’t go too much into detail because who really wants to relive their high school years? Not I, nope I refuse.
My siblings came into the picture when I turned 15. After being an only child for so long, I was just like “Oh, I’m not the main focus anymore.” I got used to it eventually, it’s all good. Fast forward to age 18 and I’m starting college. I think this was when I faced my first really big dilemma. As you grow older, people always ask you that famous question: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
My answer to that question always changed. I wanted to design clothes, teach english, teach music, care for animals, always something different. Facing my first semester of college, I realized that I didn’t actually have a clue about what I wanted to do.
Looking back on it, I think the reason that I was so clueless is because I wasn’t sure about who I was as a person. Let’s be honest though, who really knows who they are at age 18? But I didn’t have any kind of idea, I was actually lost. For so much of my life, I did things that I knew people wanted me to be involved in so when it came to taking complete control, I was a bit stuck. I didn’t know what made me happy so the concept of doing things that made me happy hadn’t clicked yet.
After a bunch of mistakes and realizing that my happiness was key, I began finding out more about the person I am. I found a field of study that I really enjoy and I just started to live my life.
I like walks and enjoying scenery. I like writing about the things around me. I like being kind of childish and singing along to Disney movies. I’m very content with the way my style of thinking has manifested once I let go of all the expectations lying at my feet. I learned to put my needs first and that was where my journey presented itself.
I always have to remember that I’m only 21. There’s so much that I want to do and experience, I’ve got all the time in the world. I believe that you learn more about yourself throughout your entire life. My journey has honestly just begun and I’m so excited to see where it takes me. There’s a lot of ideas locked in my head somewhere, I’ll access them all. Life’s an adventure guys, live it.