Why I Disappeared

Life is hard.

This year, although not over yet, has proven to be the toughest year of my life. I started blogging as sort of an online journal in a sense and things just got so out of hand for me that opening up my computer and blogging hadn’t even crossed my mind. Things became tough and as a result, I disappeared from this blog that I love so much for five months.

I’ve learned a few things about myself in these past few months. I’ve learned that I care entirely too much about the happiness of others, so much that I don’t even care if it costs me my own. I’ve learned that I don’t know how to say no, even when I’m pretty sure that I should. I’ve learned that I take on too many projects without thinking of the consequence, all of the time. I’ve learned that I throw myself into any and everything when dealing with loss. I’ve learned to cherish every possible second with the people I hold dear to my heart, because they could be gone at any given moment.

Too much. It all became too much. I’ve had to adjust to things and live with a schedule that changed every day. I’ve had to fit in time for all of the things that I had to do, there’s never enough hours in the day. I’ve had to adjust to seeing some one day and all of a sudden never seeing them again. I’ve had to deal.

In the end, I’m learning and maturing. Nothing is ever easy and I’m aware of that, it’s just these past few months have shown me how intense life has become. I’m trying.

I’ll never abandon this blog that I love so much, even if no one reads it, because I’ve put so much of my heart into this. I’ll still be here.

~Brittany NaShara


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