I remember being a child and thinking that by the time I was 23, I’d have my life completely together. In that fantasy world I created I had found something I was passionate about and had my Bachelor’s Degree in that field. I was married to someone I loved who loved me back, I was living in my dream house, and everything was going right for me.
At this moment, at 23 years old, I can tell you that my life is nothing like I imagined as a child and, while disheartening, it’s okay. As I watch all of my friends graduate with their degree’s, I’m happy for them. I’m happy for them because I know how hard they’ve all worked for this. I don’t feel any kind of shame for just having an Associate’s Degree and being more than halfway through with my Bachelor’s because that’s the path that I was meant to take. I’ve come to terms with the fact that achieving my academic goals will take me a while, mostly having to do with the cost of attendance, and that’s okay.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that working three jobs was gonna have to work for a while and that there will be days when I don’t sleep. The fact that I’ll go weeks without speaking to people has become a reality for me. I’ve accepted that high-functioning anxiety would be something that I’d have to live with. I’ve accepted that living with my family is the best financial decision for me at the moment. These are things that I’ve learned to accept in my life today.
I’m at a point in my life where I’m okay, definitely not where I want to be but I’m getting there. I have a man in my life that I love, I have friends that I consider family, I have things that I’m passionate about and want to expand on. Honestly, I just want to enjoy my life, whether there’s good or bad happening within it. There are days where I never want to leave my bed, there are days where I want to conquer the world, and there are days where I’m somewhere in the middle of those two.
I’m taking things one day at a time. I set goals for myself for each day and that helps. There are days where I end up working for a majority of the day but I never want that to make a difference in what I want to achieve that day. These are little productivity things that I’m working on and I know that things will get better; that I will get better.
So eventually, I’ll have that dream life that the child version of me dreamed up. I’m in no rush and it all doesn’t have to happen at once. I’m good with achieving one thing at a time and I think that’s the best thing I’ve learned in my 23 years so far.